Zito's World

Uh-oh...

I just learned that I will be going through a standard evaluation process for second year teachers at my school. I wonder how long it will take before my evaluators realize that I have no idea what I'm doing. Then again, I think they knew that when the hired me. Still, I better polish up the old resume.

A random disturbing note - Strangely, the new fun game amongst the faculty at the beginning of this year is to try to guess who among us would be the most likely to wind up on To Catch A Predator. How terribly sick and inappropriate...but it's still kind of fun. I guess that's gallows humor for teachers.

-T

Note To Major Conference Football Programs, Pick On Someone Your Own Size

The current trend of football teams from major conferences starting off their schedule with absurdly overmatched opponents is starting to get on my nerves. Tonight Louisville crushed division 1-AA Murray State 73-10, Rutgers beat Buffalo 38-3, Cincinnati destroyed 1-AA Southeast Missouri State 59-3, and Boise State is currently spanking 1-AA Weber State 56-7. Hawaii, the mid-major team most likely to wind up in a BCS bowl game this year, has two 1-AA opponents on their schedule. What's the point of these games? I understand that it brings much needed revenue to the smaller schools, but it's still akin to a high school team suiting up against a Pop Warner squad. The players don't benefit from these games nearly as much as they would from playing against even mediocre competition, and the padded records that result from these contests are rightfully treated with much skepticism by the pollsters. College football players are grown men, but their coaches are still educators in a sense, and what do these games teach their players? What example is being set by mauling teams that you can beat handily with your second team? I lose a lot of respect for any program that chooses to go this route. 

-T 

Poor Commas

A friend at work copied this article and put it in my mailbox. This may be strictly an English teacher thing, but I thought it was very interesting.

-T

The Pornification of America

I've seen several things in print and on television recently about how pervasive sex has become in our society, most recently in the latest edition of Details magazine and in this article on MSN's newsmag Slate. I have a particular interest in this topic as it relates to fashion amongst 10-12 year old girls. That sounded creepy - what I mean is that as a fifth grade teacher I deal with this issue on a daily basis and as such I have a vested interest in the matter. There are many things out there that defy belief, but to me the most telling thing of all is that when I tried to link to the 'tweener line of Juicy Couture in the Slate article, it was rejected by my school server as "Tasteless and Offensive" material. Yet I guarantee there will be at least half a dozen of my 45 or so fifth grade girls who show up wearing Juicy tomorrow for the first day of school. This makes me think of the song "Ted, Just Admit It..." from the Jane's Addiction album "Nothing's Shocking", which is about the desensitization of our society. Perry Farrell looks smarter and smarter with each passing year.

CORRECTION: Now that I've gotten home and can open the "juicy" link, I've found that my assumption that it goes to the line of clothing was wrong. It goes to some site with a definition of "juicy", the language of which triggered the network filters. That ruined that little bit of irony...but the clothes are still slutty.

-T

Hmmm...

During the new teacher introductions at our beginning of the year faculty meeting, each teacher was introduced and we were told their professional biography in a nutshell. One of the new librarian's traits was that she is an avid reader of young adult literature. Isn't that kind of like introducing an elementary teacher who's qualification's include her being an avid watcher of the disney channel?

A Day of Firsts

Yesterday I had two experiences that I had never had before. The first was my first time participating in a fantasy league draft. I have many friends who spend countless hours obsessing over their multiple fantasy teams, but I've just never been interested in devoting so much of my time to such an endeavor. However, when I was invited to join a league for this year's college football season, I had to jump at the opportunity since I am a college football junkie. I figured that since I will spend the next four months immersed in the NCAA football season anyway, it might be fun to add a little friendly competition to the mix. Unfortunately, the draft itself did not go as well as I'd hoped. I'm positive I know more about college football than anyone else in the league and I spent an absurd amount of time - somewhere north of twelve hours - preparing for the draft, so I was convinced that I knew all the sleepers and I would be able to put together a dominant roster. Sadly, I soon learned that I had greatly underestimated an acquaintance named Pete. While picking directly in front of me he stole my picks on several occasions. And they weren't just any picks, they were many of those aforementioned sleepers that I thought I alone knew about. So now Pete has a rediculously loaded roster and I'm stuck with the leftovers. What a bastard.

The second new experience happened last night after a softball game I'd been invited to join. In any rec league softball games in which I've played, none of the players take the game too seriously, and no one bothers to give the umpires too hard of a time when they miss a call. An offhand remark or two is usually about as bad as it gets. But last night, after the game ended on the third botched call of the night and us down by a run, all hell broke loose. Since I try to keep this blog relatively clean I can't possibly do the scene justice, but it involved all ten of my teammates and most of the girlfriends and wives in the stands storming the field and screaming the absolute worst possible obscenities at the umps. I have never in my life seen a group of people have such little regard for common decency. It got so bad that the other team tried to stick up for the umps, nearly inciting a riot in the process. After about three minutes of absolute chaos the umpires, who were clearly and perhaps rightly concerned for their safety, called the police. As I was leaving the complex a moment later two squad cars were pulling in to sort out the mess. I've played sports all the way throught to the professional level and I have never seen a mob scene that even approached what I saw last night. Needless to say I was terribly amused by the whole situation. Does that make me a bad person? Perhaps, but it was just one of those things that was so over the top, so hard to believe even as I was watching it unfold, that I couldn't help but laugh in amazement. Curiously, one of the umpires decided to eject one of our players even though the game was over and it was the last game of the season. Hmmm....

-T

Finally, Some Sense is Made...

I've been growing more and more frustrated with the Michael Vick saga over the past week. It seems to me that the entire country is having an emotional reaction to his crimes that has skewed people's perspective about how severe the allegations really are. For the record, I can't even use a fly swatter without feeling bad, so I find dogfighting to be beyond disgusting, but I honestly think that if Vick were under indictment for rape he would stand a better chance of returning to the NFL than he does at this moment. This article by the superb Gregg Easterbrook expounds on this issue with more clarity and lucidity than I ever could. I can't say I sympathize with Michael Vick, as Easterbrook does, but I do believe he is not going to get a fair shake when all is said and done.

-T

Wow

I am beside myself right now. The Pickup Artist is shattering the existing standard for rediculousness on television. The "master pickup artists" are so deadly serious throughout the program that it's beyond absurd. And the pop psychology they employ to try to "teach" their "pupils" is just as incredible. I am totally hooked.

8 Burning Questions For in The Upcoming College Football Season

1. What can Boise St. do for an encore? They set the bar as high as it goes with last year's undefeated season capped off by the game of the century against Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, and they have to replace eleven starters including QB Jared Zabransky. That said, it's not like they came out of nowhere. They've been a winning program for a while now and should put together another solid season against WAC competition. But do they have a shot at running the table again? Prediction: 10-2.

2. Will Jimmy Clausen be Notre Dame's savior? Clausen comes in with rediculous hype and he seems to believe all of it, but he will have a tough task ahead of him. The Irish are rebuilding this year and are doing it against a brutal schedule that could see them sitting at 1-7 after week 8. A sub .500 record is a strong possibility. Prediction: Clausen will have a rude awakening throughout a very humbling freshman year.

3. How will Alabama do in the first year of the Nick Saban era? Nine starters return from a mediocre offense, but the defense returns only four. They were close in a number of tough losses last year and seem primed for a big leap in 2007. A manageable schedule by SEC standards will help. I predict the Tide will finish 9-4 followed by huge expectations going into '08.

4. Can Les Miles avoid a stumble this year and finally make it to the title game? He's only been at LSU for a few years, but his teams have been preseason favorites to reach the title game each year only to find a way to lose a couple of games during the season. That's hardly something to be ashamed of in the brutal SEC, but with all of their toughest games at home in 2007, this could be their year. Prediction: 12-1 and an SEC title heading into a title game matchup against USC.

5. Will Hawaii run the table? I bristle at the comparisons to last year's Boise St. team. Boise played a very respectable non-conference schedule, while Hawaii has two 1-AA opponents on the slate for 2007. For argument's sake, if Hawaii traded places with Kentucky, I think the Wildcats might well run the table and Hawaii would struggle to make a bowl out of the SEC. Prediction: The Rainbows finish the regular season 12-0, but are controversially (and rightly) left out of the BCS due to their weak schedule.

6. Who will be the biggest surprise of 2007? Every year there is a team or two that gets little preseason fanfare and plays their way into the BCS discussion, such as Arkansas and Rutgers last year. Prediction: A much improved offense will catapult Penn State into the top 10. If they can find a way to get past Michigan in The Big House on Sept. 22, watch out.

7. Will Rutgers make another run at an undeafeated season? The Scarlet Knights are a legitimate top 20 team, but they are a step below West Va. and Louisville talent-wise, and South Florida will be a stiff test this year. Can they recapture the magic of 2006? Prediction: Rutgers will have another successful season, but lose a few on the way to a 10-3 finish.

8. Can South Carolina break through the glass cieling in the SEC East? I have a bit more interest than most in this one since I was a Gamecock, but plenty of people will be watching to see if Steve Spurrier can lead his squad to the next level. They were painfully close to a few huge wins last year against Florida, Auburn, and Arkansas. Prediction: The Cocks are still one year away from contention for an SEC title, but they will finally steal a marquee win along the way to an 8-5 finish.

-T

Links and Other Randomness

A while back I wrote an entry on our society's tendency to lie to one another rather than to issue any form of rejection, and I vowed to refrain from doing so in the future. Then this morning I was standing in my bathroom, half-dressed and thirty minutes from a dentist appointment when I realized that I would rather be mounted by an angry water buffalo than get my teeth cleaned today. And considering one of the perks of being an adult is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, I decided to call the dentist and make up a lie about my keys being hidden somewhere amidst all of the move-related flotsam littering my apartment. Clearly, in this instance the lie was a better option than calling to say I just changed my mind or simply pulling a no show. Nevertheless, the question remains: Did I break my vow, or in this instance was my fib a justifiable action to take? The honorable thing to have done would obviously have been to show up for the appointment, but that wasn't about to happen. Hmmm..........Oh, who cares?

My girlfriend and I have come across our first hurdle in living together. We both are obsessed with reality television, but unfortunately our tastes differ greatly. As such I am subjected to two nights a week of So You Think You Can Dance, everything related to the curiously named The Real World, and endless reruns of America's Next Top Model. I am convinced that you can find Top Model on TV at any hour of the day, seven days a week. It drives me crazy. And seeing Tyra Banks continuously condemn high fashion's desire for anorexic models while doing her best to facilitate and encourage women to try to conform to that same image is absurd. Oops, Righteous Tony snuck in there for a minute. Get back in your cage! Anyways, why can't my girlfriend just like the same terrible shows I like? You know, the ones that center around the humiliation of minor celebrities and a total absence of any sort of cohesive plot. Has any couple ever broken up over television? At least I'll have my revenge once football season starts. College football every Saturday from 11 in the morning until the last game of the night ends. I can't wait.

In keeping with my penchant for stealing links from my friend Jeff's blog, I felt it my duty to pass along a link to this cyber-paradise of distraction. I went to this website around 10 this morning and spent the next four hours exploring its wonders. I'm a sucker for lists, and there are a multitude of wonderful lists on various rediculous topics related to pop culture. The one I have linked to is my favorite, "Top 15 Most Outrageous Claims In Pop Music History".

Regarding the Michael Vick saga, I find it interesting how much outrage has been stirred up by his alleged involvement in dogfighting. As this MSNBC article points out, from a PR standpoint he may have been better off being under indictment for sexual assault. Because so many people have dogs, myself included, there is an emotional component tied to people's reaction to dog fighting that warps their view of where it actually stands in the hierarchy of crimes. That's not to say it isn't a disgusting practice, but were people similarly outraged by Kobe Bryant's alleged rape of a teenager in Colorado a few years back? I don't remember that being the case. I'm not often intrigued by questions of a sociological nature, but this one makes me wonder.

And one final link to a video I saw this morning on some news outlet. It shows a baby water buffalo being attacked by a lion pride, then a crocodile joins the fray and plays tug of war with the lions, then the herd of buffalo returning en masse to stage a last minute rescue of the youngster. I couldn't find the edited version of the clip and the one on youtube is long, but it's pretty cool and you can skip through it to find the good parts.

-T